mercoledì 14 marzo 2012

A Sudden Rambling: Few words about love and passion

There are two kind of relationships, the first ones based since the beginning on a well-mannered nicety, that someone could even call love, and the other ones where, independently by the name, we decide or, better, we can’t help but to rip off the skin each other to look into the depth of the bare absolute abyss of the things, drinking its essence.

The first kind of relationships satisfy an ideal of esthetic formal correctness, they fulfill the human exigency to be social , they are compliant, they are soothing, they are reassuring for the social peace and the moral quiet, they are well-liked, they are the pillar of the civil cohabitation, they are actually relaxing and although they might be enthralling they seldom are overpowering.

The second ones are out of every scheme and classification, they are rebel, they imply a subversive strength because are overwhelming, they are revolutionary because they turn everything existing upside down, they destroy the past and they build a new future, they don’t take prisoners, they unhinge lives from the ground, they zeroize all the previous assumptions, they annul all the beliefs.

They are excessive, passionate, violent in the search of the truth, uncomfortable because aimed to create communicating vessels where the partners trade the souls and share caresses on the raw flesh.

I can’t say which kind is the best one, and maybe there is not a best kind because both the relations are aimed to satisfy different needs for different people and in different times of life and with different kind of partners.

They lead on different paths , unleash different emotions, create different bounds, cause different reactions and chains of events.

Sometimes the two kinds mix up and confuse. The plains alter and the cards shuffle. The first kind of relations for unfathomable reasons sometimes can develop in the second kind. The contrary is rare quite impossible. But usually the two kind of relations belong to different chemistries, almost to different solar systems.

So even the way the two kind of relationships end, the modalities of the separation are different. The first kind of relations can result in a solid and lasting friendship, the ex partners in this case can celebrate together the burial of the relation keeping extremely civilized behaviors and helping each other in a mutual aid agreement.

On the contrary the second kind of relations, the passionate ones, impose a total and sudden detach, they seldom lead to something common after the end because diplomacy and courtesy are rather inopportune after one has passed the hands under the other’s skin.

It is not possible to be nice while dragging the nails in the raw flesh, it is not possible being polite and detached after one has been living in the other’s body and soul, pumping the same blood in the same veins.

The passion when ends is never nice.

Someone, with a superiority grin calls all the above excess of reaction , calls it “drama”, and maybe thinking deep about it , I might agree.

But if we consider the matter with the mind freed of all the assumptions and prejudices , what would be a passion without a hint of drama?

What would be of the colors of the existence if we should limit ourselves to live in the bluish rarefied air of nice, polite and interchangeable well-mannered loves that never digress from our well organized schedule of life?

What would be of ourselves if we weren’t able to think out of the box even in sentimental matters ?

Is it really worth to deprive oneself of so radical but character- building and enlightening emotions only to not risk the eventuality of a little drama ?

The theoreticians of the friendly break-up now would shrug in disagreement and disapproval, but I can surely affirm that such theoreticians have never felt a true passion when they say or even only air the possibility to end a passionate relationship in a courteous and nice way.

A passion, especially if it is not extinguished, can’t be ended with polite and elaborate talks about the ifs and the buts of the circumstances ….. , it can’t be neither sublimated nor intellectualized or worse faded in attempts of friendship or civil acquaintance.

It must be cut.

The pain caused by a passion which ends requires in the best cases the black out. It is a form of respect toward the self.

The passion as self- defense tool requires the removal of the object of the passion. It must stay out of sight.

A passionate relation when ends needs the void around, there is neither consolation nor elaboration, can’t exist empathetic participation. There is only detoxification and like that must be treated. Maybe after a while can be rehabilitation !

This kind of relation is addictive so it is needed the complete cessation of the addictive material. The attempts of spiritual methadone are disastrous.

One can’t be diplomatic while fighting for survival , it is needed being drastic , of the same radicalism which passion is made, because in a clear selfish setting of priorities and needs sits the possibility of moving on with effectiveness.

I know it is someway a scary concept, but again this is the substance of what the life is made, that is what, beyond all the superstructures, makes the life such an extraordinary adventure.

But I agree passion is not for weak stomachs.

Love being an altruistic feeling makes people courageous and noble, passion instead is ungrateful, it is selfish, it has not good feelings, there are not noble words. When it ends it shelters in a den like a wounded animal.

It dismisses itself to disarm, it soothes only with time what the rationality can’t elaborate.

Passions are beyond rationality and balance … thankfully.

The passion brings back to the ground all the spirituality, makes the human beings basic, elementary, primal.

Love has songs to celebrate its end, passion has screams coming from the inside, from the hidden, dark side of the soul. No words only sounds.

But although uncomfortable, dirty, bad smelling and not well- mannered, the passion demands respect not less than love does. Because, even if extreme, it is a state of the soul and of the mind that has not comparisons among human feelings.

It is a thing I wish everyone to feel at least once in a lifetime, because it gives a higher sense to life, teaches to size the reality with different proportions , it gives new perspectives and opens the mind to a range of unexpected shades and meanings.

It helps to understand, to empathize and to forgive others’ human weaknesses making of us, at the very end , better people.

*namaste *