almost here !!

glamour style 2, originally uploaded by arialee miles.

It is lots of time that i don't post anything .
I am becoming lazy ..soon soon I will be back in myself . :)

THE BATTALION OF THE DEAD BUTTERFLIES ……

arialee sepia, originally uploaded by arialee miles.

We model are often very fragile souls, lovely and vain butterflies made to be admired, but sometimes to admire us better, they pierce us with a pin and put us in a frame so we are nothing more than died butterflies pinned in a box ; our vital essence has been drained away from some cannibal mysterious , inscrutable mechanism . And some victims are left behind .

How many people, often talented professional, we see quitting , or taking a “pause” or too stressed to continue modelling … Be sure stress is never for working too much , is always for working too little or for not being able to cope with the fact or the unavoidable frustration that despite our efforts to be at the best we are not considered enough.

Someone said once “ the power wears out the ones who doesn’t get it “. I can say in SL Fashion World the very same thing is transferable to the concept of popularity , too much popularity never stresses , is the lack of it that wears out .

I am not stating at all that popularity makes a good model, or even far helps to make a better model, I have my precise and personal ideas about it . And about what are the qualities which make a good model but …. As I said elsewhere time ago, “ popularity doesn’t make a “good “ professional model …. but definitely makes a working one..” .
So soon or later we all have to deal with this sometimes extraneous and someway, for some of us, disturbing concept of “ being popular “.

Let’s understand well on this point, I don’t consider myself neither detached nor superior , I like being popular as every model does and I have my good dose of daily frustration about it , because like every model I am narcissistic , otherwise I would have chosen to script closed in my virtual cave instead than waddling my ar..e back and forth on a catwalk :P

So in my opinion it is not “being popular” that is disturbing, is the fact that one “must” become popular in order to be a model who is called to work, at least at certain levels .

It is the imperativeness of the matter which is disturbing. Is being “forced “ to be popular that someway can counterfeit the natural rhythm of a career ( and of a mind ) .
Let’s say the truth, are very few , lets say ten , the models who can manage to work at high standards without go now and then under the “ forche caudine “ of some jury toothache .
And most of the time to win or to lose is not even the aim … the aim is being around , to make presence, ..make the name flow around .


Contests, pageants , finals continually try to build little stars, nano pixel divas , to consume in less than a season ( and it is only due to the inner mental sanity of most of the models that this perverse game has not even worst consequences ) .

Agencies and designers ( not all I must admit ) , pushed by this mechanism, like bees on the honey this way are always concentrated on the same 10 / 15 professionals, and strange enough this “collective crush” most of time is enough consistent but often lasts very few , creating expectations that often can’t be maintained. Consequently the frustrations and the dramas.

The best that a model can do to have a continuous fresh presence lasting in time , besides to stay updated , is not to burn herself . Like a video star she have to catch the good occasions for sure but try to not to be uber – present everywhere . Fashion like love likes to keep some mystery on the object of its passion. 

This same career , beautiful and rewarding , seems on the other side , made to feed our inner insecurities, as most of us (with very few happy and lucky blessed exceptions) spend half of our professional time dealing with rejections, wondering why we have been refused in this agency , eliminated in this contest or not chosen at that other casting ..and.. blah blah ..blah here and blah.. blah.. there , consuming time and energy in excruciating sessions of self analysis, thinking and struggling about if we have something wrong in ourselves, wondering where we have mistaken or worse thinking that the whole fashion world is against us. .

Wrong answer !! The fashion world is never AGAINST anybody, it simply most of time DOESN’T SEE somebody, fashion world ( considered like a two-headed and four handed beast )
never sin for commission , its sins are always sins of omission.

Fashion world never hates anyone, it is a too strong feeling for a so idle beast , it simply leaves you on a side without an apparent reason … …. Often wondering why.

And most of times there is not a rational understandable answer .. it simply happens, now and then , for long or short periods , it happens and it must be accepted like a collateral of this career. It should be part of our models professional training learning how to deal with that thing , how to keep ourselves strong and sane without surrender to some inner “abandon “ fear .

It is not a game, the whole matter must be handled with care, because behind the “pixel skinny divas that shake their tushes on the catwalk “ there are human beings with their inner world made of a million things sensitiveness and feelings , and where human beings are involved things must always be done carefully.

So to defend us better against this life drainer mechanism, to save our right to fly high and not be pinned we must become steel butterflies and iron flowers, developing the wisdom of a stoic philosopher and the patience of an old Tibetan monk ( only better dressed !)

We must put into gear “the zen mode on “, take part in everything without being touched by anything , being present and always reliable but someway detached , we have to put passion and commitment in what we do without put our own “whole life “ ( even if only the second ) in it .
We must develop alternative interests , to have alternative SL goals , and so when we don’t put all of us in it , when we ( metaphorically ) let the “beast” stew a bit in its own juice that is the time that things start to work right .

It is not easy, it is a damn trapeze job, sometimes it will seem you ‘re playing on a 3 circus rings, trying to please everyone without even please yourself … but it can be done I sure you , butterfly , it can be done . And it can be done damn well.

So girls never give up, put your best smile on and try again, and after you have tried one , two and three times ..well go home shower and eat to try the fourth ….the fifth …. 

And to close with a quote
Dadà ……. The wisdom pill of the day :


A style does not go out of style as long as it adapts itself to its period.
When there is an incompatibility between the style and a certain state of mind, it is never the style that triumphs. Coco Chanel

Rambling about a dress ..... eeekk

dress Azul
Hair Tukinowaguma LaSnob Cyber Gold


This was my outfit for MVW Live Audition ... I didn't pass and I dont complain .
I talked broadly about contests & judges tastes  elsewhere , it is normal sometimes win and sometimes lose.
The ones who were picked up were fantastic talented girls and I think judges had really an hard time deciding for the yes or the no.
Anyhow on the contrary of other times , when I always had the awareness of a dissonating detail, this month I wanted to show my outfit because I really loved it , I had great fun assembling it , fun modelling it at the audition and even more fun taking these pictures . And after all fun is what really matters , at the core it is all about fun . There is not bigger rewards that the joy of being aware to have built a good product . And in this case my product was me . :P
No worries if the box stayed over the shelves and none bought it , its lightening eccellence doesn't depend about the tastes of the buyers , I will never sindacate that , it is part of the game I deecided to play.
But hey it speaks for itself . I loved it and I loved to love me . What a narcisistic brat LOL !!!
Wow I was really proud of myself this time , and I continue to be absolutely content of what I did .
Others had different opinions , I fully respect them, I even understand their reasons if I think about them from an outer perspective , taking in count all the pros and cons, but acting in a way that not mirrors myself just to obtain something has never been in my way of being , I am what you see  ..... and  I can't stop to say " you rock girl " to myself !!! You did a great work be happy simply with that :)
Our value is the value we attribute to our actions and decisions , the self esteem is someting that is built layer over layer with an attentive and merciless eye on our acts; we have to live in a social world so we have to adapt to some convention but never the collective imaginary has to prevail over our true self .
As I said last night talking somewhere ...to win is nice ..but to lose is not a tragedy , and mainly is not the ruler with whom we have to size ourselves .
But now stop rambling about a dress

here a fun quote that I loved

I'm not that interested in fashion... When someone says that lime-green is the new black for this season, you just want to tell them to get a life.


Bruce Oldfield (English Fashion designer. b.1950)


eheheheh I share the feeling fully >LOL
yeap I am a living contraddiction but damn it ... I do love it !!

stop for now :P

it is the mask instead ......

it is the mask instead , originally uploaded by arialee miles.

It seems almost true ,
disguised in black satin,
graciously parading,
waddling on dizzy heights .

It is the mask instead
The work of a drunk puppeteer
The icon of the crowds.

They think there is some substance
Behind the frowning pout ,
the slightly alluded smile
the sapient trembling lashes
the far sidelong glance.

Behind the mask a soul ,
There is any truth ,
somewhere ?
Behind the elegant laces ,
Besides the curly hair,
Beyond the glowing skin
The perfect gemmed nail,
There is any presence?

Or it is just the alluring
human and fascinating
slightly morbid attraction ,
the ineluctable impulse
to look deep into void ?

by AM

The art of war applied to butterflies' competitions ..eeeek

arialee and the crow , originally uploaded by arialee miles.

The Art of War applied to butterflies’ competitions ….

Although dreamy and apparently absent minded as an inhabitant of an alien solar system who is the last to know its sun is shutting down , I usually have few but very clear opinions about what I see happening around me , but I never express them in a too vehement way, never in a aggressive way , absolutely never complaining ( maybe I did two times in almost 2 years of modelling , but those were limit cases and the recipient of the complaints should be ashamed about what they did and told me ) often choosing to keep my opinions for myself and myself silent.

That because even a right, justified and wise opinion in theory can become “dramatic “ and so become an inopportune behaviour if expressed with a too high (even if metaphorically ) tone of voice or in a wrong contest .

But my relaxed way of taking fashion world related things, and my SL in general , my way to choose to react “not reacting” to blatantly clear provocations or little mean actions, not fair behaviours , which have the smell of poorly conceived revenges, has never to be mistaken for weakness or worse dullness .

Because I sure you I see everything and I can state, with a slightly snobbish detachment that I usually understand everything what I see .
I am quite aware about what I am surrounded by . I just don’t mention it by choice, a choice of personal style I made some time ago .

I simply let people have what they deserve and often they don’t deserve more than my silence.

Most of the time I just decide willingly to not stop on things , to take a deep breath and move on , to avoid to talk over and over , and reply and review in detail every single thing was said, and every single thing was done or done not , avoiding to blow up on the fire of the easy, useless, polemic .

I must confess I am rather bothered when I notice this way of acting in other people , are they right or wrong , when I hear an insistent complaining about everything my first instinct is to run away and leave them at their repetitive blah blah , and that thing was the best deterrent to keep myself far enough from similar behaviour .

I prefer to let flow bad gossips, poor mean jokes, little mean actions, little or big unfair behaviour on my shoulders that although graceful and delicate if surrounded of lace and silk on the runway, have been trained to be solid and strong as rock, in my everyday life .

Because we all, lovely battalion of butterflies, often when we complain about something ( and the 90 % of time we complain for not being chosen somewhere) , we start from a wrong premise that wrongly influence our evaluation of the reality.

In fact usually when we participate to a casting, submit the photo to a designer’s contest , attend to a live audition , we assume that the winner “must be the best looking , the best dressed , the loveliest of us , and when that happens most of us ( there are always the due exceptions , but complaining in that case is a mental pathological illness and I wont talk about it ) quietly accept the result in the consoling thought that the superiority of the winner assured the fairness of the whole matter .

But when for a chance, likewise fair, and soon I will explain you why it is , to win is not the “best one , the best dressed, the best looking one , the loveliest “ then we start cry havoc ….. And there is nothing worse of the deafening noise that a battalion of silent complaining butterflies make.

Ahahaha ….. I hear you my dear little butterflies and I understand you ( because I don’t live on Mars I am one of you ) . I can perfectly hear that subtle , sneaking voice make its way between a smile and a ritual “congrats” , that little voice coming from the inside of the bowels , climbing the tummy , arriving till the left ear to whisper us in a cross tone.. “..damn it …I was perfect …, my outfit was perfect ,….. my poses were impeccable, ….I looked like a true princess and wtfff%&%$£$% kkk !! They didn’t even looked at me !! “

Well I have had in a not even so far past that kind of self destroying , time and energy consuming, kind of mind attitude, I am not ashamed to admit it because , it is a someway natural behaviour although I fixed it and I feel much better now . But that’s why I know perfectly what I am talking about ….

It is a kind of “newbie competitor” attitude, not because it is “newbie” to complain in general, that’s only annoying , but because the reason we often complain for .

It is all tied to the wrong mind premise we have when we attend a “competition”, meaning with the word “competition” whatever kind of event where models are lined up , live in alpha order or by photo on a agency wall , and as result we have that some (or one ) are picked up and others no .

The winner/winners of the competition whoever she is , often is not he best , the most skilled , the best dressed, the loveliest of the competitors .

Sometimes , it can be even a completely outsider one , and can even happen that the skills, the beauty , the sense of style , the poise of some of the discarded ones scream out loud , but doesn’t matter , it is perfectly fair the way it is , that to win was not the best , but the one who met what the jury , whatever jury , was looking for .

The one that gave an emotion to the human being called to judge, even if her dress was not perfect, her pose not so sophisticated and a bit stiff and her look not so impeccable. But with evidence something in her moved a range of emotions that other even better ones were not able to move.

Yes , I know what you are telling me my butterflies – “…..there were a lot that looked like royal princesses!” ..But you know what ? That day the judges were just fed up by the royal family princesses and they were looking for a twist more so they had an emotion and picked in the bunch the 3 that looked like the escaped residents of an asylum on fire” .
( it is a fun example I am not referring to any recent event . You won’t trap me on it !! LOL )

And now I hear you my lovely butterflies, asking me again , if it is so fair that in a competition, the judges make that kind of choice …. and I will never stop to tell you, YES ..YES ..YES .. it is perfectly fair and completely understandable , because the things judges/agencies/designers look for, in that place and at that time , is always different and it might even be out of the “orthodoxy of the loveliness” or on the contrary lay completely on that concept, depending on their temporary tastes and inclinations.

Obviously I don’t even take in consideration the fact that to go ahead in “competitions” of whatever genre , are people chosen in consideration of their friendship or job relation , or familiar bounds with some of the judges or their friends or clients. I hope such a low thing doesn’t happen because, this fact would insult the intelligence of both who choose and who is chosen, meaning the chosen girl wouldn’t be able to go ahead without a little friendly “push “ .

But we all know so well that these things never happen in SL fashion world , that just mentioning it is a loss of time 

Back to us …. I will tell you a thing (and it took me a while to understand, metabolize and accept it ! ) that an arbitrary judgement of a jury , provided is not polluted by “nepotistic” reasons not contest related , is fully A B S O L U T E L Y fair .

If we accept to be underneath judgement of third people in a competition, provided that we trust their independence of thought and their inner seriousness, we must accept their tastes , their little mania and obsessions , their pet peeves , in few word we must accept to be liked or not on the basis of an unfathomable criteria , a ruler of evaluation that can even not be at all “ the runway skills” or “the loveliness of look ” .

We must learn that it is an act of faith in which we can just be happy of the result we brought there , doing our best . Then if our best was not their best … well patience it means that next time it might be better , in the same place or in another place .
That is all about learning to deal with refusal without being eaten by it.

Because, butterfly , never , and I mean never , to be not picked at a casting , or not chosen for a finale or not bla bla bla bla ( insert what you like here ) …..must make you doubt of your inner value, if after a true self analysis about your look , your editing , your poses , your whole you, you are truly happy about yourself .
Not everyone can win, and sometime win and sometime lose is part of the game.

But the exam to be useful must be true and made with self honesty and a good deal of self irony to be really useful .

At this point I can’t avoid to tell you a little story about what happened to this “ old runway chicken” that defines herself skilled, not more than some weeks ago .

Dressing for the casting , not happy about the shoes I had in my first outfit , I decided ( against every good sense rule ) to change them last minute , and so 15 minutes before the casting call the “here writing dull runway chicken” decided to head towards a well know shoe shop and buy an elegant pay of new brand pumps . The here writing chicken bought them , went back home , unpacked them tried them , edited them , added tem at the outfits and went to the casting all in 15 minutes . Wonder Model !
Then she made her performance , she posed , she was elegant , she was lovely …….. and she was discarded .

Now I don’t know if it was only for that, or to being discarded contributed a sum of reasons , and really I don’t want to know . Because going back home ….. realize I had forgotten to eliminate the damn heels click sound that was on default and to think …darn it I am f %&/(%&%$%&d was one thing !!! But the result was the less.

If I think about it , and I can’t do it without laugh in the depth of myself ( I thank the God of the morons who gave me a sane sense of humour to keep me safe in any situation ) , I am still shuddering in horror and shame thinking that I had done a whole casting call in front designers professionals and collegues , with a “ clippete cloppete clippete “ sounding runway!

I sure you , when I realized it I would have made hara-kiri with a solemn death ritual under the old low prim peach three in my house garden .

But then I realized that it happens , it happened to the best and it will happen in future to better people than me , it should not to an attentive professional , but it does , and when we make such a gross mistake, it is useless to find if and but , we have to raise hand with grace and say … ok my fault !!

That anyway brings to my mind another issue. I am sure , because it already happened that if I heard some other model making such a noise I would have immed her telling her about the fact , now I wonder , did really nobody else hear it or despite our smiles and hugging the merciless logic of “mors tua vita mea “ prevailed ? I prefer don’t question myself about it . At last everyone needs to keep some illusion intact 

Back to us .
The only thing when we compete we must be sure of ( usually it happens more in contests than in castings ) is the seriousness of the organization and the fact they don’t change the rules in the middle of the play , because that is not only lack of honesty and deeply unfair but even deeply in spite of the time , the emotional investment and sometimes the economic resources of the contestants .

We should always avoid to join competitions where we have the smell ( and lets trust our instinct ) that someway the result is pre-cooked , where we and our gracious loveliness or our fierce unconventional sense of style , are used like movie extras just to make the landscape and make shine the one/ones who were pre destined to win since before the competition started . I must say there are not many of these case, but such pageants exist , and it is only a matter of time learning to develop the skills that bring us to find out those scams ( and I don’t talk only about the usual “pay for vote” contests easy to avoid in their gross evidence , but even about some with a much more “presentable facade” ones ) and run away with the speed of a rocket .

And that choice and evaluation has to be made with a lot of care, asking advices , not being ashamed to make lots of question about how it works, having the courage even at beginning of a career to say no to smelling bad situations and to join only well known and with adamantine reputation of seriousness organizations .

I know it , my lovely butterflies , because I have been there as well ( well lovelies as you can see I have missed nothing in the “cursus honurum” of the perfect dull newbie model at my beginning ) , bad experiences with those runway predators and life drainers , can cause serious wounds to one’s own self esteem that can be only fixed with a lot of trust in oneself .

Being part in those fake representations, even if made in prefect good faith as it happens most of time , can make feel ashamed of oneself , and I have no fear to use a “strong” word can leave a sense of disgust and of fault like it happens , without any reason , to the innocent victims of a violence.
But about that, my butterflies , we will talk another time .
Enough ramblings for today 

le temps passe_ Mea Culpa Photo Contest

le temps passe, originally uploaded by arialee miles.

I am very happy this photo won the second Prize at Mea Culpa photo contest .
Mea Culpa is a haute couture avant garde fashion brand that I am following since its very beginning few months ago .
Tatanka Kaligawa's vision of the fantastic side , often the darkest one , of the fashion completely meets my taste and could inspire me a good imagine that I translated as possible in a photo .

I delete

come un dipinto , originally uploaded by arialee miles.

I delete the traces of your presence
From my life and from my belongings

I scrape off under my skin to remove
The memory of your scent .

I delete letters , I delete presences
The joyful hope then the sadness

They don’t melt anymore
In the waiting , in our anticipation .

What you are is not what I am anymore
We have taken note , we know it .

We are idle streams of something
Which destroyed the best inside ourselves.

I focuse to believe to get over it
I wake up in the night and I rethink it

I restrain myself from screaming out loud
My deep pain my antique sorrow.

And I live again all our past days
Our passions , holding our hands so tight

The unknown destroys me
But sometimes knowing too much
.....doesn’t help.